This month’s Tarot Circle is from Donna. Donna attended my Do-It-Yourself Tarot Spreads Masterclass and created her very own relationship Tarot spread after the webinar.
She has kindly given me permission to share her Tarot reading here so that we can offer our interpretations and learn from one another. As with all Tarot Circle posts, I’ll share Donna’s and my interpretations and then I’d love to hear from you.
The Question
Donna asked the Tarot, “How can I promote a harmonious relationship with my estranged friend who is ill?” Great question! I love that it is very action-oriented and empowering.
Donna’s Tarot Reading
Donna created her own 6-card Tarot spread to answer this question, using what she learned from the Masterclass. (And she’s done a great job too!)
She drew the following Tarot cards:
1. What will happen if I contact him….Temperance
2.What will happen if I don’t contact him….Tower
3 What does he want…….7 of Cups
4. What does he fear……Emperor
5.Unexpected Influences…..Page of Wands
6. What does he need……5 of Pentacles
Donna’s and My Interpretation of the Tarot Reading
What will happen if I contact him – Temperance
Donna: I should contact him using a balanced and moderated approach to reconnect. Mixing may also indicate some chemistry.
Brigit: I often see the Temperance card as taking the ‘middle path’. So, if Donna were to contact him, she needs to do so with respect of his private space and with a gentle and balanced approach. There’s also an element of integration with the Temperance, so I would encourage Donna to think about how she can take an integrated approach. Is there perhaps another reason for contacting him that may also offer an opportunity to reconnect as friends?
What will happen if I don’t contact him – Tower
Donna: Although this card seems to be in the wrong place I read it as a sudden shift. Perhaps a conflict in thoughts or actions. A change, a wake up call, perhaps a turning away.
Brigit: I’m drawn to the two figures leaping from the building – in opposite directions. It may be a sign that if Donna doesn’t contact him, that’s that. He may be disconnected completely. Given the contrast between both cards, I would be opting with contacting him whilst pay attention to the balanced approach of the Temperance card.
What does he want – 7 of Cups
Donna: He wants options, direction, choices….looking at possibilities… there is some confusion.
Brigit: I definitely agree with Donna. I also see an element of wishful thinking with this card, wishing that there were more options than there are right now. He also seems to be desiring freedom and creativity – perhaps as an outlet or an escape to having to deal with his illness.
What does he fear – Emperor
Donna: There is a fear of loss of control. A need to not appear vulnerable if he drops the Emperor facade. Perhaps he is re-evaluating the situation….and his suppression of emotions. Or perhaps he is suppressing more.
Brigit: I see the armour on the Emperor – it’s like a layer of protection between what’s really going on inside and what image he wants to portray to others. He’s not letting other people see that he is indeed fearful about what’s ahead and is instead trying to stay unemotional and detached from his situation. Yet underneath, it’s a very different story.
Unexpected Influences – Page of Wands
Donna: This could be increased exuberance that might lead to action. Or higher thought (spiritual). There could be some renewal, or enlightened vision…..if the Page is a person?
Brigit: The sense I get from this card is a new wave of energy. It takes me back to the Seven of Cups, where perhaps by dreaming and imagining a different reality, he can recreate himself and find a new source of energy. I feel that this could translate to an open door in terms of reconnecting and being part of this new energy or identity.
6. What does he need – 5 of Pentacles
Donna: He needs acceptance, non-judgemental support on his journey through this illness. 5 of Pentacles speaks of a poverty …perhaps physical, emotional and spiritual as well as monetary.
Brigit: I agree. I also pick up a martyrdom energy. Perhaps he is like the injured beggars that remain outside of the well-lit church. Help is right there, but why is he not going into the church and accepting it? He may need Donna to guide him inside, to the warmth and the light that is within.
Overall Read
Donna: At the end of this I still don’t know how to approach him or when but It seems I should attempt a balanced supportive approach that gives him options to choose wether he wants or can emotionally handle a friendship or not.
Brigit: If I were Donna, I would go ahead and reach out to him. Offer your support, show him that someone loves him and cares for him, and give him the space to connect if he wishes. He may need a gentle nudge, but I feel that if Donna can show him that she’s there for him and that she can help him dream, he will come around.
What’s Your Read?
Over to you! How would you interpret these cards and the spread overall? What is your advice to Donna?
Post your response in the comments below. Use this as an opportunity to hone your Tarot reading skills or to get your opinion out there!
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I would advise her to perhaps send a heartfelt card (kind, accepting and temperate), instead of a more personal contact. This allows the recipient to decide on the next step (he is in control). I expect the Page of Wands card is about the renewed energy both parties will get when this lingering estrangement is addressed and maybe even resolved. It is a heavy load. I think the five of pentacles is about his current inability to accept help? Blessings to all!
First of all well done Donna, I think you have created a wonderful and very insightful spread.
I believe between you and Bridgit you have got to the bottom of the matter.
As an older male myself, I would advise a cautious supportive approach.
Reach out to this guy; but on no account be judgmental or pitying.
However the one other thing I am getting is that (based around the Page of Wands) that he might require some help increasing his energy level and a more youthful person/energy near him will be helpful, though be subtle using those feminine energies with care. Hope this helps Rob.
Hi
What a lovely spread you made! I think you should reach out to him. Especially since Temperance has healing qualities. I think it states: healing takes place, also finding a new balance between you two. Tower bluntly says: nothing happens (thus also no restoring). Also in regards to what he needs, 5 of pentacles, I see that as someone supporting him through difficult times. It’s the card of illness of course, but instead of ‘leaving someone out in the cold’, I like to see it as someone is with you through those difficult times.
Best of luck with your desicion & well wishes for your friend.
Temperance– This is where the water meets land on an idilic landscape suggesting to me your advances have the potential to be well received and appreciated. Timing is important with this card. Do you have a mutual friend who can advise you when your estranged friend is in a more positive upbeat space when contact can be initialized?
Tower– Wow.. The card certainly seems to suggest a turn for the worse if contact is not made. It would reinforce Temperance in suggesting the friend is ready or at least could use your help. One look at the extreme differences between contact and no-contact it suggest to me that this a ” fork in the road ” type of decision.
7 of Cups– I think he needs someone to listen to him. He has options but is confused or uncertain which direction he wants to take. He’s looking for clarification. Lots of choices but where do they lead to? Perhaps this is why lack of Tower shows upheaval. I think Donna can help him through this.
Emperior– He wants more control over what is happening in his life right now. But that is not realistic. Yes he has options but they are not to his liking. He wishes things could be different so he wouldn’t need to make the choices.
Page of Wands– There will be acceptance of his situation and with that comes a renewed attitude of moving forward. It could be someone new coming into the situation or Donna herself with a positive uplifting vision of what he can expect. I get the sense that this could be the roll that Donna could play.
5 of Pentacles- He needs to get over his “all is lost” attitude. If he firmly believes there is liitle left for him that is that way it will turn out. As suggested with the Page of Wands and the Tower(if no contact is made) there is a very strong possibility he will remain stuck. I think Donna can help him through this.
i agree whole heartedly with you timpug…i also feel donna is the page
Hi Donna. Thanks so much for your vulnerability in sharing this exploration. Hearing your process helps us all.
I really appreciated Robert’s comments above as I think the male / female differences really come into play when we think about giving and receiving help. As women, we’re often trained in over-helping which has the potential to drain ourselves and in the end not serve anyone.
What struck me the most was the
Emperor: which strikes me as fear of losing control, of not being able to hold it all together on the surface or underneath. (A more prominent theme for the masculine perspective)
Combined with the 7 of Pentacles, I agree with many above at a feeling of unrealistic expectations, wanting things to be different, wanting to have your cake and eat it too.
My overall feeling of the spread is that this may be a situation where Donna’s friend has lessons he needs to learn on his own (the 5 of Pentacles arises to open one’s perspective (with painful lessons) of how one’s actions and inactions are the source of their suffering.) It’s seems unadvisable to be extreme and shut him out (Temperance) but there may not be much she can “do”.
In my healing work with people I see over and over how illness and “rock bottom” show up as a gift to push us into the lessons and places we need to go.
I wonder what might come of Donna creating a similar spread for herself in terms of..
What do I want?
What am I afraid of?
What do I need?
What are my unconscious motivations?
Great explorations! Thinking good things for you in this adventure,
Leslie
I totally agree that a gentle,and non-intrusive action will do the needful. The cards are all pointing to this. I hope Donna’a friend does not fall prey to the energies of “Page Of Wands “,and sheds off the facade of “The Emperor ” .This would be disastrous for the friendship.Donna should gently cajole,and pamper him a bit to get the old vibes back.It looks difficult but not impossible.All the best,
~Aasheesh
It’s a great spread and I am definitely going to try it myself. Looking at the spread, I agree with both Donna and yourself with a few impressions that I got while looking at the cards. I might not be accurate but here goes!
Donna needs to be very sensitive in her approach to her friend otherwise yes, there will be a complete ending of the friendship. For some reason, the Emperor is reminding me of a Father or elderly relative. Is it possible that this is an illness that has been seen in the family before or something to do with the Father? Quite clearly, the friend needs moral and emotional support and knows that he needs to make certain decisions and take actionbut is being childish or childlike. I think what the cards are saying is that he needs acceptance and both figures in the Five of Pentacle card will need to enter the state of Grace to let bygones be bygones and move forward. I feel that if Donna handles the situation with empathy and support, her friend will get better and the estrangement will also end.
I really like your spread. It is so useful for those should I or shouldn’t I questions.
With the feather in my comment that this is your spread and of course your reading of it is probably more spot on than mine, I will say that if I had dealt these cards for a querent I would have read them pretty much the same way with a few exceptions.
I agree with Leslie L.Ac. probably because I am also a healer. The five of pentacles in that placement says that Donna’s friend needs to “hit rock bottom” before he will improve. The seven of cups supports this–he doesn’t know what he wants and is probably fooling himself about his dis-ease. What he doesn’t want is someone else taking control of his recovery (Emperor). The thing he’s not realizing is that he possesses a wealth of untapped, exuberant, fresh energy that could pull him through this.
The take away lesson for Donna is that there is really nothing she can do for her friend other than to let him know that she’s there and she cares and to check in on him OCCASIONALLY. In the end, we all must heal ourselves.
I think, reading Temperance together with The Emperor, that he may fear a bullish, intimidating or bossy approach from you, Donna (or, indeed, anyone) so stay “temperate” or self-controlled rather than stride in with how you feel or with strong views on how he should best manage his situation. This is also reinforced, perhaps, by the Seven of Cups with its dreamy apprehension of multiple possibilities and the corresponding desire not to be constrained or oppressed with limitations. Although he may not know what he wants or what’s best, he doesn’t want to be told by someone else what’s in his best interests. I love both your perspectives on the other three cards.
I agree with you Donna – the Emperor seemed quite imposing and authoritarian to me, an approach that wouldn’t be welcome. Understanding the need for equanimity as demonstrated by the Temperance card appears to be of great importance, especially as he still seems to be wading through his emotions.
Greetings and Happy New Year!
If you do not mind; I will offer what I see in the cards that were drawn.
1. What will happen if I contact him? Card drawn is Temperance.
Awkwardness and uncertain emotions are what I am picking up with this car. This is what he will feel. These are the emotions that will come into play. Temperance also brings a wisdom that you need to use caution. He is not the same person you once knew and things have changed with his circumstances which you are not aware of.
2. What will happen if I don’t contact him? Card drawn is The Tower. I see this as more of pertaining to you. If you do not contact him; you will waste your time and emotions wondering what if all your life. This will influence how you react and treat other people within your inner circle which could topple your inner circle of friends as you now know them.
3. What does he want? Card drawn is the 7 of cups. 7 is a number of perfection. He is seeking a soul mate. He is looking to heal from the past and have the ideal relationship he seeks in a mate.
4. What does he fear? Card drawn is The Emperor. In this case The Emperor represents control issues. This man needs to be in control of his finances, his emotions and the direction his life is going. He fears the inability to control any of them due to outside interferences from other people. He feels as the Emperor he can handle what life can toss him; but not the disaster that past partners have left him with financially and emotionally. The past partners caused chaos and debt in his life. He is determined to get back on his feet and restart this time how he feels it should have been in the first place.
5.What are the unexpected influences? The card drawn is the Page of Wands. I see a male child that has the heat strings of his emotions. This causes chaos because this particular male comes with baggage of adults that are not good and do not have a good influence with the child. The child repeats what the adults say and teach him even though the child’s heart does not believe them. The child is in survival mode in this set up.
6. What does he need? The card drawn is The 5 of Pentacles. Right now his finances are draining him of his emotions and he is looking to find a way out of situations that are stressing him to the max at this time. Money is a major issue right now. He feels a bit lost at what to do and how to get it. The circle of this influence moves when winter ends on March 21.
My own advice. Wait till spring to contact him. I sense your heart is with this male and you would be tempted to be an enabler and give him the money he needs or help him out. You are a very kind hearted and generous person. You would give until it hurt you. That is not necessary. He will find his way out of this. If you choose to contact him; do so as a support of being there as an ear to talk to if he needs one without any deepening of a relationship. The timing for that right now is not in favor of you being seen in a favorable light and that is what I believe you are aiming for.
One thing I forgot to mention in my previous comment.
Out of the 6 cards you dealt, 3 are major arcana. This tells me that this is an important, archetypal issue in your life and also, possibly, your friend’s. It’s good that you are giving this careful consideration.
I would like to thank all you for your kind and objective opinions of my reading. I am new to the tarot (6 months) and obviously emotionally involved and so the insight of more seasoned Tarot readers is invaluable personally and as a learning tool. You have all made amazingly accurate assessments of the situation. My friend will probably have to have a transplant. I am very concerned but as many of you advise, it is not in my hands and I can only wait patiently. Chrissy I pull a lot of Major Arcana right now. TJ your comments on 2, 5 & 6 are interesting and I would like to ask what you base your timing in #6 on.
I chose this formation for a spread because it is based on the pentacle. A symbol for being human (to me)
Thanks
Donna
You rock Donna!
Thanks for sharing these parts of yourself!
Wow, some great interpretations above. I’m a newbie, but would like to throw mine in.
1. What will happen if I contact him….Temperance: Expect a ‘lukewarm’ reception. It won’t be a simple kiss-and-make-up, but given the rest of the cards I’d say contacting him is worth a try.
2.What will happen if I don’t contact him….Tower: A catastrophe? Honestly, what first came to my mind here is that he may be gone – I suppose it could be either physically or emotionally – and you’ll lose the chance to mend the relationship.
3. What does he want…….7 of Cups: A choice or options. I also thought the same as the interpretations by other folks above. Who wouldn’t with this kind of situation were different?
4. What does he fear……Emperor: He fears that you will be judgmental – perhaps about the cause of his health situation or about how he is (or isn’t) handling it? Maybe approach him with the angle of helping, and not lingering on whatever situation estranged you in the first place, whose fault it was, etc.?
5.Unexpected Influences…..Page of Wands: I thought about a message with some facts about your friend’s situation, or perhaps info that he would actually like to mend the fence with you too?
6. What does he need……5 of Pentacles: He needs someone to support him. Someone to complain to, but also someone to lift him out of a victim mentality and bring something positive into his life.
Hope something there is helpful!
A novice but this is my take, thanks for sharing.
1. what will happen if I contact him? – temperance – communication and moderation will flow through the relationship, the outside factors that are challenging the relationship can be tempered through this path.
2. What will happen if I don’t contact him? – Tower – If no contact is made the disruptive energy of the tower will challenge the current structure of the existing bonds.
3. What does he want? – 7 cups – he’s unsure and in the process of considering his options, likely to be a dreamy mood. Opportunities opening up, having to prioritise his needs.
4. What does he fear? – Emperor – fatherhood, manhood, maturity, his ability to provide in those roles and aprehension of his abilty to expand his parameters in the feild of bussiness and staus for which he has a spark of an idea indicated by the page.
5. unexpected influences – Page of wands – An arduent and passionate relationship which has moved far too quickly and made him uncomfortable, cold feet. Also his wish seems inclined towards channel his energies in the direction of career rather than romance – he could have it all. Don’t press too much there’s possible competition. Children may well be on his mind along with a sense of fear causing him to back off.
6. What does he need? 5 pentacles – cash, again we see his need for financial stability taking presidance over his need for love presently and his current perspctive of being unable to ‘provide’ in all senses of the word. possibly feeling inadequacey until he’mastered status therefore it’s easier to let go rather than confront these fears.
Summary.
If Donna made contact it seems likely these conflicting elements could be worked through and moderated but she’d have to wear kid gloves. If she chooses not to make contact the relationship is likely to be swept away in it’s current form. Is that a good or bad thing?
1. What will happen if I contact him….Temperance
I would advise Donna to contact him rather than not. If Donna contact him, they would have a chance to build up friendship again slowly. Temperance reminds me of patience, trust and purity. It will take time for Donna and her friend to reconnect and build up trust again but it is worthy, to get in the same path again. (In contrast to Tower, which splits into two different paths.)
In 7 of cups, I see that Donna’s friend is in confusion. He wants a lot of things from life but at the same time, he doesn’t know what he really wants. For examples, personal goals, relationships, material things he wants. He might need someone to guide him, to simplify things. At least, to pull him out of his own world, to have a wider view of life, and be less focus into his problems.
The Emperor card makes me thing of power, and loneliness. He is isolated, living in his kingdom, keeping a distance from people around him, and is lonely. He might not want to admit that, as it is what he fears to acknowledge. He needs to feel in control of things, and keep a safe distance with others. Does he tend to have a lot of friends or not much close friends?
I could tell page of wands and 5 of pentacles are two sides of him right now. Page of wands indicates passion, raw energy, straightforward/ brave enough to take risks, wants to go for an advanture. Thus, it explains the 7 of cups: he got a lot of things in his mind. Maybe he thinks he is up for new challenges and so on; however, 5 of pentacles shows his weak side: he feels lack of support emotionally sometimes and doesn’t know what to do. It would be helpful if Donna is willing to lead him a helping hand and let him knows that he is not alone, to help him focus his energy, and simplify things.
I would suggest Donna to contact him again, take it slowly, one step at a time, to build up trust with him again. At first, he might shut Donna down (The Emperor), but deep down, he needs someone to guide him (7 of cups) or provide him support (5 of pentacles).
Please kindly give me feedbacks.
Thanks in advance. Wish you good luck!
2.What will happen if I don’t contact him….Tower
3 What does he want…….7 of Cups
4. What does he fear……Emperor
5.Unexpected Influences…..Page of Wands
6. What does he need……5 of Pentacles
Donna, my take on the cards you drew is that this reading concerns you rather than the estranged friendship. What jumps out as the pivotal card is the Emperor, the Fire Sign, Aries. Donna, could it be you’re afraid that if you try to make contact you’ll be irreparably burned…Rejection is a difficult emotion to get past. Temperance might be saying that there’s need for you to rebalance, see both sides of the possibility that he could react to your good intentions either way. Are you willing to take that risk?
The 7 of Cups too also points to the direction of how you should handle this situation. Your desire to reconnect rings true to heart, but the decision is confusing, and out of the realm of the Emperor’s (your) control.
There’s something about the Tower that flavors the spread with the sense that something unforgivable happened to fracture the friendship. Not sure what it is, except 5 of Pentacles may indicate there was a parting of the ways filled with anger, and helpless sadness that it could ever be mended.
Perhaps the Page of Wands brings to the surface is that each of you went your separate ways which in an upside down way is a liberation out of a responsibility to one another, and to the friendship itself.
Personally, Donna, think your choice is dependent on if you can handle the risk of rejection…Setting aside the fear of the possibility of being deeply hurt, I would say go for it. Putting you in the Emperor’s shoes, it’s you and only one who has control of how to deal this situation. This decision is a heavy responsibility for you to take on. Yet on the flip side, there may be more at stake if you don’t at least try to open a doorway that’s been locked tight. Rather than a tragedy filled with regret after the fact, this is an opportunity to open your heart to yourself knowing that you’ve had the courage to reach out to do the right thing no matter the outcome.
What also rings true from the sense I get of the Temperance card is that sometimes these difficult circumstances enter our lives as a teaching tool, an instrument for reaching the next level of consciousness…A necessary guide bringing to the surface what you need to be aware of at this phase of life. And Donna, no matter what decision you make, rest assured it will be the right one; a perfect fit for what it is that you need to know about yourself. It appears to be crossing the threshold of knowing when it’s time to hear the beat of your heart when it’s at rest between heartbeats. And equally important is to listen to the voice of your Inner Spirit. Not an easy task by any means that’s for sure.
~With Regards
~Phyllis